Learning Reflection Week 7

This week was interesting as there was another blow out in class relating to a host of things, however I believe the initial topic was slavery...then politics, gay and abortion... it was interesting. I felt mostly engaged during this time, as there were people in the class that expressed their opinions that don't usually offer up any conversation during these discussions/debates. The most enjoyable (though melancholy) element of the class, was the passages read from Jacobs', Incidents. I walked away this week realizing that although, there is a lot of writing and reading in this class, everything that is taught, discussed and experienced further increases my knowledge and understanding of politics, people, and other hot topics from various perspectives. It was a good week.

Learning Reflection Week 5

This week was really nice, as I was given an opportunity to consciously appreciate and explore nature. Reading Thoreau’s experience in the woods, alleviated some of the hang-ups that I openly share regarding raw nature. Although, I have no plans of exploring the woods, I can appreciate the beauty that exists with in them. I consider this be a valuable lesson with regard to my prior close mindedness associated with the matter.

Living the Full Life and Defining Your Best Self

To me, the elements necessary to live a full life are: self love, integrity, and consciousness. I believe the world is chock-full of people who merely exist opposed to living. These people ‘live’ to promote their necessity to be seen. They exist via the need to prove to others what they possess, status quos. I have very close friends and relatives who own ‘debts’ for ‘things’ that they ‘struggle’ to exhibit for the purpose of being notice by others. It’s important to these people to walk amongst the ‘ranks’ of those that are equal in status, as well as, ‘noticed’ by those that exceed said status. And it’s even more significant if they are admired and/or envied by those that possess less (in terms of materialistic importance). This to me is not living for self; it’s living for the approval, acceptance and burden of others. How is working eight days a week, to pay of rims on your car, living? What kind of since does it make to be responsible for a $2100/month mortgage, when your $700/month rent was a constant dilemma? Why finance a BMW SUV that you have to borrow gas money to drive? These things are facades for a lot of people. They live to possess a certain impression that can be made upon others, never impressing upon themselves the freedom to live without worry, fear and leisure.

Self Love

I live according to my favorite life quote, “Live each day as if it’s your last, because one day it will be.” I am very familiar with ‘existing opposed to living’, although not relative to the aforementioned. I was an excessively organized workaholic. I lived on a closed schedule, right down to bathroom breaks. Although, I was successful, I was absolutely miserable and worse to be around…and didn’t know it. My neck always hurt and one day as I walked past a mirror, I realized that I looked tense and stoic. Immediately, I realized that my stature was identical to that of, Nasferatu (1922).

It occurred to me that if that’s how I look to myself when I wasn’t looking, it has to be the way I always appear to everyone else, aloof. That day, I decided that I was working myself literally to death and never enjoying the accomplishments that accompanied the fruit of my labor. I made a conscience effort to relax and be the person that was successful, but ever more successful at being able to be unconventional and ‘open’. Although, there are times when I find my shoulders hiked up, it’s rare and the result of some type of adversity or tension. I often vacation, and have learned that I’m the biggest beach bum ever created. I can literally live under a cocoanut tree for 12 hours every day for two consecutive months annually and not feel compelled to do anything. I no longer abide by tedious, meticulous schedules, although I still pay all of my bills on time. I elect professions that accommodate my desire to flee (hop on a plane, train, bus or boat) for the weekend. It is my personal goal to express love to myself and my SELF.

Integrity

Regardless of every situation that I may encounter, it’s always my priority to exhibit a high degree of integrity. I know (without a doubt) that honesty, dignity and responsibility are means to a great life and existence. If ever one is to see me as an unfriendly person, they could never find a valid excuse to consider me a low life. In my life, I’ve always practiced honesty, brutally in my younger years. In fact, I’ve never understood nor appreciated the art of lying, fronting nor cheating, regardless of the cause. I feel that everyone has a choice in everything that is not forced upon them with bodily harm. And with that choice comes: accountability, reason and purpose. Living illustrates how one is projected when they die, and the two are often juxtapose posthumously. In my life, I’ve witness the ramifications of manipulation, neglect and infamous behavior, as well as, the counter.  As a result, I realized that living a life grounded in integrity is proven to be one worth living.

Consciousness

Awareness and knowledge are key components in living a full life. How can one live a full life being ignorant? When I think of something full, substance instantly comes to mind. Without awareness, I wouldn’t know the type of person I am, as I would lack the capacity to want to or care. Knowing has to do with everything that can be challenged, thus allowing free-thinking. Without the capacity to understand my lack of knowing, I would definitely not be the person I am so proud to be.

Learning Reflection Week 6

This past week was somewhat challenging for me, as I wasn’t feeling well, and slavery was the topic that we were discussing. I am not very sensitive regarding the subject of slavery, however I am easily irked when I’m forced to listen to balderdash regarding the subject, specifically the justification behind it. We will be continuing work on it this coming week. I found some interest in the reading requirement, Harriet Jacobs’, Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl written by Herself.  Although, we had specific parts to read, I’m actually reading it from the beginning. I peaked at the first page and it was all she wrote after that…literally. This would be the part of the week that I found myself to be most engaged.

Current Social Practices

I’m really excited about this topic, as I have a few social practices that I think hinders this country. The basis is education and racism….BLATANT RACISM. Racism in regard to miscegenation and the affects racism have on Blacks and immigrants, specifically Mexicans. I’ll begin with racism and follow with education.

Racism

A lot of people would prefer to believe that racism no longer exists and is acknowledged as paranoia, until it’s directed at and personally affects them. The racism that I will discuss is based upon the indirect affects and my personal observances of it.

Here is a note I wrote to someone on a social network recently, as a way to dispel some of the asininity he was projecting upon his page.

I wrote:

“well, on a friday, about 10 yrs ago i was a salesperson for haynes furniture, and was having hella days bc lightning had hit the phone line (i had cavalier, but the lines were owned and serviced by verizon...so there was alot of mess to get it up and running... with the exception of my ex and i running around, using payphones and mess) and we'd been out of service for going on a week... THIS WAS DURING THE BIG PHONE/TELECOMMUNICATIONS STRIKE(AT&T, VERIZON, ETC)(remember that crap?)..so anyway, they've hired all these temps because everyone is out picketing their asses....and we're going bananas, i'm talking to this jerk that doesn't know anything, that sends me to that jerk that doesn't know anything to ...... eventually i get this ?allen? dude on the phone, very rude and is a supervisor, so i'm boiling when i get to work, because it's going to be a whole wkend now w/o a phone, etc, etc, etc.... so, the furniture company is upscale and expensive as hell and alot of the salespeople are really snotty(black, white, arab and asian) and have a tendency to LOOK at the people they are ‘willing to help’... i'm none of that. mess whether i sell anything or pass out in a recliner, i'm getting $1000 base bi-wkly, so i'm good. any who, i'm not a dog eat dog type, not hound dog the customers type, i'm just chill and ask anyone in proximity if i can assist... well, i run into this chill dressed (jeans, tee, sneakers)white man and his mexican wife, and ask if there is anything that i can do, he stops looks at me and says, "do you know that we've been here for over an hour and though all these salespeople are walking around and some not doing anything, you're the FIRST person to even acknowledge us, let alone approach us? i apologized and said that if i had i seen them earlier i'd have asked and then apologized. he explained that people do that alot, bc his wife is mexican and they make assumptions... well, anyway, they were looking to buy a HOUSE FULL OF FURNITURE, but were disgusted with haynes' attitude and felt that they should spend their money elsewhere, which was understandable, i'm the same way and advocate it... but as we're talking either i somehow tell him about my day or phone situation or his job comes up somehow.. GUESS WHO HE IS!?! no, he's not ?allen?... HE'S THE DIRECTOR OF THAT ENTIRE REGION and DEPT, which included being ?allen's? bosses, boss!! i was like are you serious? i spoke to allen today because my phone was(... )and he was a jerk(.....) and told him what was going on, he apologized to me told me to give him my information... i did, would you believe on a friday night, i was told that my phone would be restored on saturday, no later than noon!?!? and also, that he would have a talk w. allen about his demeanor/attitude... i had to go to work that following morning, but my then husband called and was like, "YO! VERIZON CAME AND FIXED THE LINE, THEN CAVALIER CAME THRU TO MAKE SURE THAT VERIZON HAD DONE WHAT THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO DO. THEN BIG MAN CALLED! WOW, YOU BE GETTIN CONNECTS IN THAT JUNT!"... i'm telling you what i told him, "YOU NEVER KNOW WHO YOU'RE DEALING WITH NOR TALKING TO, AND SINCE PEOPLE ARE PEOPLE,  ALWAYS BE ON POINT." 17SEP10”

The note I just shared focuses on so many different issues: class, race, power, the unknown….but what I’m attempting to convey is that people are people. NO ONE should be looked down upon based on anything other than personal knowledge or information relating to that person, their acts, deeds, etc. I find it comforting to know/think that although, class and race will always be prominent issues in society, most people just see people as people and what they represent themselves to be.

 Education

As a parent, I was told that my (then 5-year old son) was ‘slow’ and ‘COULDN’T’ read. He was in kindergarten, and I was under the impression that kindergarten is where you begin to read…it was when I started school. So, knowing my son for his ability to articulate in a manner that didn’t appeal to me as being slow, I stepped up. I took his ‘not yet learned’ ability as a failure on my part. That day, I quit school, went to Staples and purchased a large chalk board and an equally large dry erase board, a laser pin, chalk and markers. I made it my personal business to teach MY son to read. I wrote the letters on the board in various order and pointed to individual letters, giving him 1-2 seconds to identify it. Not doing so in time, I marked it. I made it a game. I created bingo cards with letters, not numbers (he knew those) and everyone that came by played it. I taught him to ‘slide and roll’ letter sounds into complete words (the way I was taught). Within one week, my son was reading small words. He was not slow. He is not slow. He is now 11, in the 6^th grade, reading on a high school level and head saxophonist in his school band…HE READS MUSIC.

As a school counselor, I witnessed what happened to my son, numerous times, except on the middle and high school level. I realized that the lot of black kids in Richmond Public Schools are screwed…not all of them, but too many!!

My point? If the schools would spend more time doing their jobs teaching the kids opposed to ‘labeling’ them (even medicating them), as well as, parents spending more time raising their own children opposed to sending them to school to be raised, the kids wouldn’t have such a high risk of failing… at both school and life.

The next note, I’d like to share is one written very recently to a friend on Facebook regarding education, specifically Virginia.

I wrote:

“sorry to inform you, but it's not just city schools, it's the whole lot... va only teach kids how to pass SOLs, they don't teach kids the fundamentals/basics anymore.... the difference is that whites have other resources and money to accommodate the bull**** of the public school systems, like tutors, and tutor schools... so what your kid goes to county schools, i dare you to have the same outlook if you move your kid to a state that still TEACH, your son will look and feel like a lost puppy...don't brag unless your kid is in a private school, montessori preferably... as far as summer breaks, whatever... black parents in AMERICA should start raising their kids, not expecting the system to do so... the IEP (individual education plan) level amongst NON-retarded(LD-learning disabled) black children is astronomical... i mean like 78% in some schools... why is that? well, you have poor, non-educated blacks that don't know anything, and are told that their kid/kids(there are some entire family of kids)-are slow, these ppl see a check...therefore you got a family living off of SSI at the expense of a child that is not retarded, but has a learning curve...the system can afford to look at that as no big deal, because the white ppl that make up all the IQ(intelligent quotient) tests have written years ago that blacks are inferior to whites AND blacks are UNable to learn(bell curve theory)....so you have the sellout parents and the system that would prefer to label you as a typical N word, than teach you... then you have the parents that just don't know, again somewhat not educated, that believe whatever is said to them by the teachers, admins, etc, despite what they KNOW about their children and go along with the IEP. the difference with these parents are that they are either too proud or are the cause(drugs, alcohol, etc), and are either embarrassed or guilt-ridden and don't want BENEFITS. then you have the parents that actually have retarded children bc of drugs, heredity, etc and are in total denial, but get checks and are always in your face, however they are not doing jack at home to better the child, and it shows. then the ones that make you REALLY sick are the ones that tell YOU that their child is retarded or slow, because they WANT a check, and forces their kid(s) to fail test, act slow,etc, etc, etc.. because they are told too.. you have teachers that actually do care and are like WHAT? UMM, NO! but the kid is going to do what is taught at home(bc this is the ONLY thing being taught at home, and kids actually do want to please their parents, esp ones that are neglected) so what can you do?  i'll tell you what you CAN'T do, you can't blame the SCHOOL system for this one, though you can always look at some place in the system *ahem* welfare to blame for this form of coddling.  i've seen very few parents that are actually on point, accepting of the issue, involved and handling business in these cases, and their children excel far beyond the CRITERIA that's set forth for their specific 'label'....tmr(trainable mental retardation), mr(mental retardation), ed(emotional disturbances), ld(learning disabled), etc....and would you FREAKIN believe that it's ILLEGAL to tell a kid that knows that they are labeled TMR, MR, etc what the acronym means?!?!?! these kids walk around unaware unless a arsehole like me tells them. at a 'special olympics' basketball game there was a petition to 'stop the use of the 'R' word' going around for everyone to sign, i didn't sign that CRAP and passed it to the next person... some of my close friends that noticed, laughed and asked me why? i told them, because i use the R word. it's used in the formal labeling of these kids and alot of them ARE dang on RETARDED, but since no one has told them, they look down on the physically inept...forget that, i'm not signing it and will continue to use it where it's due. i've never been a follower, fake nor any of that conformist bullCRAP that people like to jump on the bandwagon for, and will not start today, bc it might hurt someone's feelings. this system is so dang on asinine, convoluted and contradictory that i sometimes fear sending my kids to school, but i know that there ARE some well intentioned people working, and though they know their JOB, they actually try to do a good job for the kids... you wouldn't believe all the teachers that retired, quit and etc because of the same reasons i'm telling you.. i mean teachers that taught for decades and then bush comes along and no child left behind sends the drop out rates soaring, crippling teachers from teaching, and etc... i send my big babies off in the mornings knowing that I AM THEIR DRIVING FORCE, and that they will be taken seriously by the teachers that i send them to, bc those teachers know, i'm not the one and neither are my children. so, don't be comforted by county schools, babe... his school like the rest is just a few steps away from segregation anyway...if it is not already.... think about this and check out how many schools are POPPING UP in subdivisions. subdivisions are sometimes racially mixed, but the classes are the same and these days race and class are one in the same, thus these NEW schools are clustering based on the demographics, resulting in segregation... just look around yourself... i live in richmond's northside (brook road area) our middle and high school ZONE schools are henderson and john marshall both about 99.9% black.. the elementary school in my ZONE is  a 50/50 school(race and class...the gov's daughter went there w. my daughter). so how come that same ZONE is not the same for middle and high school... lemme share. my daughter is honors, so when she was in 5th grade, with gov's daughter, she and all the 5th grade class was given the OPPORTUNITY to go to an out of zone school(binford or albert hill) both in THE FAN. ok, the letters were sent home, i signed the letter that day and sent it back, selecting Binford. months go by, she tours the school w the other kids. TWO months before school is out, i receive a letter stating that there was not enough room for her. ok, fine, but smells like bullCRAP (i was working at henderson middle at the time and we had 1 white kid, a city counsel woman's son).. where are all the white kids in the area going? they are going to binford and albert hill. the system and parents has surreptitiously clustered/separated these kids. how do i know? well i work in the zone school, virtually no whites in a zone that is 50/50. also, speaking with parents of kids that go to my then middle school, that had younger kids in 5th grade w. my daughter... you know what they said when i asked where their black kid was going? they all said the same thing, "i don't know, he/she is supposed to be going to binford/hill, but there wasn't enough space." i knew then what was going on, the white kids were the ONLY ones that actually had the OPPORTUNITY for open enrollment, but they had to send the forms home to EVERY 5th grader to be truly UNfair. all the black 5th graders went to henderson, unless parents moved or used an address for the school out of zone. i didn't pursue it, as i'm cool with my zone school(same as that counsel woman) and i was going to be at john marshall the following year, next door to my daughter. i know that my daughter, like so many other gifted black children in this city, deserves the same education as the next possible ivy leaguer, but she does.... she has me. binford and albert hill have far better accreditation than henderson, thus more funds, personal donations, allotments, and etc to accommodate and benefit the many whites, along with the defaulted blacks that attend bc they are actually IN that zone. and if you ever had an opportunity to see the classrooms, you can bet your butt that black(and hispanic) and white(and asian) kids are separated in both race and class."

My Walk

Beautiful Virginian mountain skyline

This is as far in as I'm willing to go into 'The Woods'.

Byrd Park

Little Cutey Pops

Trees for as far as the eye can see

Week 4 Learning Reflection

Week Four, in a word: Epic. We read, analyzed, discussed and listened to the works of Poe. Although, I've read 'The Tell Tale Heart' numerous times, I've had the pleasure to hear it with the tone that Poe intended for his readers. Through, the discussion regarding this twisted tale, erupted a debate about various subjects: religion, faith, demonic possession, mental illness, stars, ethnicity, philosophy, astronomy and nothingness. It. Was. Awesome. I have always been one to appreciate and embrace multi-faceted conversations and experiences, therefore this was a real treat for me as it enabled me to learn a few new things. One of those things being that I'm greatful for the wisdom I acquire on a daily basis, as it allows for 'room' to accept things that I may not see, hear, smell, feel, nor taste, but simply 'know' exists in possibility.

New Jersey's Committee Essays on 'What is an American?'

These essays were excellent and gave me the opportunity to actually get to know the members of my committee. It's an honor to be amongst the ranks of these free-thinking, intellectual individuals, as well as, the opportunity to observe their willingness to share personal beliefs and thoughts regarding who they are and how they represent this country. I certainly feel elated to know that I share this heritage with these people.

Alexa, I really appreciate your take on this. Although, I didn't completely agree with everything you stated in your letter, I totally agree with you here. And there is NEVER a reason why you should feel compelled to 'explain' the deapth of your patriotism. Although, I'm a descendant of African slaves, I truly love this country and embrace its faults, facts and history. Be patriotic. We all have that special 'umph'/'swag' that makes us American, and stars, stripes, red and blue are pretty dang on American:-)

Charlie, I truly enjoyed reading your letter, as it provided much information necessary to disassociate the stereotypical views that people would have regarding Americans and America. Before, writing my essay, I felt a need to have a contemporary understanding of what it would be like to write to a person that wasn't familiar with Americans and the great country we reside in. To acquire that feel, I read yours and was wholly intrigued by the contrast made between ‘what we must look like’ to foreigners opposed to ‘who we actually are’.  I particularly enjoyed your reference to people being content in their lives, it 'jerked' me. Although, I appreciate EVERYTHING I have acquired in my life (family, abilities, materials, experiences, etc), I’m certain that I take them for granted, at times.  I have possessions that some people would literally kill for, but I feel that they are just things…content with the realization that I’ve had less and was just fine. Charlie, I thank you for that reminder. I believe that portion alone, will be the deciding factor of whether one would move here.

Kendall, Kendall, Kendall... I really enjoyed your essay, as it was gritty, honest and provided the ‘want to be an American’ every reason to JUST STAY HOME, and the 'already American' a kick in the teeth. Although, alot of what was stated did not apply to me, I felt a little dirty, because I care more for Katrina victims than Haiti's, and eat out whenever I don't FEEL like cooking... so, I literally felt the "eeew." Through cynicism, you were able to specifically guide the person to make a conscientious decision based upon their motives for coming here. I especially liked the fact that you expressed the need to possess a work ethic as a means to succeed, as well as, the “Congo”/”China” bit. Thank you for truthfully illuminating the darkness of our great home.

Tony, your essay was prolific, at best. You shared the aesthetics of our beautiful country. The opportunity to drive cross country and as far up as ‘ALASKA!’ provided the reader the opportunity to ‘see’ the freedom that is undoubtedly a major part of our country, as well as, its infrastructure. The section pertaining to Virginia was right on. I’ve done drive to all the places you mentioned and it’s amazing to have it all in such close proximity. I really enjoyed reading this because I’m somewhat flighty (my passport is in my wallet) and simply love to hop in a car, on a bus, train, plane and/or ship and just GO..ANYWHERE, but you made me particularly want to go to America. Even as a residing American, you made me want to come here and stay.