This week has been an interesting one, as I’ve had to maintain a certain level of modesty when dealing with a few people. I had to deal with how to handle the truth, maintaining peace, keeping my cool and being wise enough to know when to apply each. I have a friend living out of state, one who I hold in high regard and care for deeply. In the past, he’d gotten into some trouble that landed him in federal prison. I personally, do not interact with people during their bids in jail, as I think that people should take responsibility for their choices, take the time to reflect on why they’re there and not burden me with it. Despite, my feelings about bad choices that land you in prison, I drove to Michigan and visited him there. We often rap about religion and virtues, as he comes from a family chock full o’ preachers and other religious leaders. My friend had a serious illness a few months back that landed him in the hospital in a near death situation. He’d previously told me that he’d had ‘some type of poisoning’. At the time, I didn’t feel like it was necessary to ask what type of poisoning, as I was just happy that he was ok. We often have peaceful yet opposing conversations about the effects of drugs, drug users and dealers, and my lack of empathy pertaining to any of it, specifically those that willingly poison themselves. His argument was that drugs are a ‘strong-hold’ and that addicts deserve some empathy. Well, this past week, during a conversation regarding domestic issues and bipolar disorders, he mentioned his cousin, whom had been arrested ‘recently’ and was heading to prison as a result of doing so. Immediately, he stumbled into a place where he had to explain why he ended up in the hospital for two weeks. This fool told me that he’d been dealing ‘dope’. On the night his cousin got arrested for ‘kicking in’ his girlfriend’s door, he’d been with him. When the police showed up, he (my friend) swallowed all the drugs he’d had in the car. Such a DUMB ASS. Keeping my temper intact, I calmly explained to him that although, I’m grateful that he’s still alive, I’m highly disappointed in his decisions to poison his people with drugs and attempt to sell it as a need to take care of his family. I informed him that although, I love him and that he’s a really good person, his choices fails to demonstrate the fundamentals of a Christian man. Moreover, he missed the lesson in his first stint in prison. I reminded him of the burden it put on not only his family, but his friends and other loved ones. And concluded the matter, stating that the only results in ‘that lifestyle’ is either prison or death…and that he was more than welcome to choose. At any rate, I wasn’t coming to visit him in a hell hole again.
I walked away from this conversation feeling a certain type of way regarding what I’d discovered. But in the end, I walked away feeling a certain kind of pride having incorporated all that I’d been working on during this project. I peacefully dealt with his lack of truth; maintained my composure; accepted him for what he’d done, yet remained consistent when respectfully expressing my disappointment in his lack of wisdom and faith that he allegedly has an abundance of; and modestly, but honestly explained my position to preserve myself regarding the situation.
This assignment has really given me the opportunity to reflect on the type of person I am. Before this assignment I was very black or white, very little room for gray. I now make room for gray, as I realize there are often reasons to look outside the box and approach every person and situation accordingly. I will continue to strive for the greatness that I am working toward, and as a result I’m certain that I will have better and more productive life in doing so.
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